Addiction Jokes

I’m addicted to seaweed.

I must seek kelp.

I used to be addicted to eating soap.
But I’m clean now.

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, although it’s only mild.

A bunch of batteries were gathering around in a circle.
I guess they were having an AA-meeting.

They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction.

My money’s on Dave.

Sat next to a fruit machine addict at a gamblers anonymous meeting last night, It was awful!..
He kept nudging me.

My family are worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles.

It’s ok though, I know where to draw the line.

My struggle with steroid addiction has only made me stronger.

It was hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey, but I’ve turned myself around.

My friend told me he was worried about his guitar playing addiction…
I told him to calm down and not to fret.

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts.

I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.

I’m embarrassed to say I got addicted to shoplifting but only from the bottom shelves in the supermarket.
How could I stoop so low?

I’ve been addicted to cold turkey for 2 years. I keep telling people I’m trying to quit cold turkey but nobody is taking me seriously.

Went to a water park, tried a couple of slides and now I’m worried I’m getting addicted.
It’s a slippery slope.

My wife said I’m addicted to football stadiums, and that she’s going to divorce me.

I said, “On what grounds?”

My wife said she’s leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants.
Guess I won’t be needing those anymore.

Got home and someone has stolen all the bits of carpets and the mats.

Police think it was the work of rug addicts.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

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