My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?
I asked the children at school what they knew about the astronomer Galileo…
According to one lad..…
‘He was just a poor boy from a poor family’..…
Orions Belt is a big ‘waist of space’…
Sorry, very average pun, only three stars…
I got my grandma a new walking frame specially made by NASA and she’s starting to get the hang of it…
It’s one small step for Nan…
I tried looking at the solar eclipse using a colander but I ended up straining my eyes…
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it…
Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like?
No sun.
Neil Armstrong makes it to the moon and takes 5 pictures.
Girls go to the bathroom and take 57!
What’s a specimen?
An Italian astronaut!
My favourite name for a planet is Saturn. It has a nice ring to it…
There’s no future in time travel.
I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
How do you deal with a sad astronaut?
Just give them some space.
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.
My wife suggested I get a telescope since I was so interested in astronomy.
I told her I’d look into it.
Entered my photo of Orion’s Belt into a local art competition.
I didn’t win, but I did get a constellation prize…
251 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury.
No, I’m not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.
Went to a space-themed party, and the burgers were better than normal.
They were a little meteor.
Why are they called “hemorrhoids”?
They should be called “asteroids”?
It’s an astronaut’s first day on the ISS and he’s making himself a coffee.
He says to a colleague: “I can’t find the milk”
And the other astronaut grins “In space, no one can, here use cream”
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
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