Welcome to the Wedding Jokes section of The Sage Page, where we bring a touch of humor to the most joyous of occasions! Weddings are filled with love, laughter, and unforgettable moments, and our collection of jokes captures the lighter side of tying the knot. Whether you’re a bride, groom, guest, or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, you’ll find an array of witty, charming, and downright hilarious jokes about weddings. From funny anecdotes about wedding planning to quips about married life, our jokes are sure to add a smile to your special day or brighten your mood any time you need a chuckle. Dive in and enjoy the fun as we celebrate love and laughter!
At weddings old people always poke me and say you’ll be next!
It’s so annoying!…
So.. I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
At his wedding, my buddy called me the worst best man he has ever seen.
I was speechless.
I got invited to Tony the Tigers wedding.
It was a bit of a frostie reception.
The wedding invite said: ‘Guest+1’.
So I turned up an hour late.
Why did the melons plan a big wedding?
Because they cantaloupe!
The therapist told me I might have a marriage phobia and asked if I thought I had any symptoms.
I said, “I can’t say I do.”
He said, “Yeah, that’s the main one.”
Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side.
She had to.
We’ve only got one chair.
Meatloaf got married to an accountant.
She’ll do anything for love but she won’t do VAT…
I married my wife for her looks …
Just not the ones she’s been giving me lately
Two spiders got married and bought their first home.
I was so happy for the newlywebs.
The highlight of my trip to the zoo was seeing an antelope.
I’d never seen an insect run off to get married before!
A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.
The dad says, “Never mind son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”
My wife kept saying I should treat her like a princess.
So I forced her to marry an old guy she’s never met to secure an alliance with the French.
My wife said she’d only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can’t wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
I spelled out “marry me?” in balloons outside the house of a girl I met on the internet.
When I finally met her in person for the first time, I popped the question.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She’s watching our wedding video again.
Why do brides cry at the wedding?
Because they never marry the best man.
At a wedding I whispered to a guy next to me, “Isn’t the bride a right ugly dog?”
“Do you mind! That’s my daughter you’re talking about!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not… I’m her mother.”
Everyone at our wedding cried.
Even our wedding cake was in tiers.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I can’t seem to open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
Two antennas met, fell in love and eventually got married.
The wedding ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was excellent.
“Welcome back everybody” is apparently not a good way to start a speech…
If you’re the best man at your friend’s second wedding.
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.
My ex girlfriend invited me to her wedding.
I told her I was busy, but I’d be there next time.
What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.
My biggest regret is my mother-in-law didn’t live long enough to attend my wedding.
She was the one person who might have stopped it.
I told my tailor that I would be choosing and putting on my own clothes for my upcoming wedding.
He said, “Suit yourself.”
I got an invite to a wedding that said “Black tie only”.
But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.
What do you call a wedding between two Russian people?
A Soviet Union.
I went to a cannibal wedding.
The groom toasted the bridesmaids, the best man toasted the bride and groom and the father of the bride toasted absent friends.
It was one hell of a barbecue.
Me: You really need to watch “A Series of Unfortunate Events”.
Her: Ok. Let me take out the wedding video.
I watched the video of my wedding backwards.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Scientists have identified a food that completely kills sex drive in women.
It’s called “wedding cake.”
At a wedding reception, the best man said, “Would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.”
The poor bartender was crushed to death.
And there’s more ….
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