Politics Jokes

Welcome to our Politics Jokes page, where humor meets the sometimes overwhelming world of politics. Here, we believe that a good laugh is essential, especially when navigating the often serious and contentious landscape of political discourse. Our collection of jokes spans the political spectrum, ensuring that everyone can find a bit of levity regardless of their political leanings. From light-hearted puns to clever satire, our jokes aim to bring a smile to your face and a moment of joy to your day. Whether you’re a political junkie or just looking for a chuckle, we invite you to explore and enjoy a break from the ordinary with our curated selection of politics jokes.

What do you call a Communist sniper?

A Marx-man.

I don’t approve of political jokes…

I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Politicians and nappies have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

“Because it would be hilarious,” is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the most accurate word in the English language.

Poly = many. Ticks = blood sucking parasites.

I reckon all these conspiracy theories are what the government really wants us to think.

What does a politician do after he dies?

He lies still.

I can’t believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician.

I was just sitting around doing nothing.

Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.”

Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?”

Son: “Forget it, there seem to be too many requirements.”

What are the favorite vegetables in Washington, D.C.?

In Congress, it’s celery…

At the White House, carrots…

And of course, at the Supreme Court, leeks.

The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

Stop repeat offenders.

Don’t re-elect them!

I think we should get rid of democracy.

All in favor raise your hand.

Donald Trump’s foreign policy:

If you mess with the USA, there’ll be hell toupee.

Donald Trump has done more than anyone to promote equality…

He’s equally hated by blacks and Hispanics.

What happens when you take a joke too far?

The 46th President of the United States of America.

In a recent survey, 70% of Americans responded that Donald Trump becoming president has made them nervous.

The other 30% said it will make them Canadians.

Donald Trump has announced that when he’s president, he’s going to put a wig on the Presidential plane and call it Hair Force One.

I don’t see why people were outraged when Donald Trump said if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

After all, if Ivanka wasn’t Trump’s daughter, I’d date her too.

Joe Biden is like a web browser with 19 tabs open.

17 are frozen and he doesn’t know where the music is coming from

Joe Biden walks into a bar and sees a pretty, young blonde chick.

He sits down next to her and says “So, do I come here often?”

Joe Biden had a meeting with the Cabinet today.

He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

What’s the best thing about being Joe Biden?

Waking up every day and learning that you’re the president.

Donald Trump and Joe Biden are in a boat, and the boat sinks.

Who is saved?

The United States of America.

Who would win in a street fight between Joe Biden and Donald Trump?

Everyone watching

The of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden.

He is currently assembling his cabinet!

What did the prime minister do with the half-eaten banana?

He re-peeled it.

How many UK Prime Ministers does it take to change a light bulb?

Who knows, they don’t stay in office long enough to find out!

Jeff Bezos has never been the President of Amazon.

Just the Prime Minister!

What time did the Monster eat the prime minister?

8PM!

How did the atom become Prime Minister?

It held a general electron!

And that’s not all ….

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