Joke of the Day: Saturday’s sonic salvo of substandard sentences

When Noah wanted to check how many bees he had, he had a look in the arc hives.

What was the Soviet Union’s most secretive insect?

The Cagey Bee.

I love being covered in snot and honey.

It’s the bees’ sneeze.

I saw a bee fly right into a bell.

I thought, “That’s a real humdinger”

Met a girl in the pub once who said she’d show me a good time…

Got outside, and she ran 100m in 10.49 seconds….

I’m trying to organise a cricket match for a team of soul singers…

I haven’t got any batsmen or bowlers yet, but I think that Curtis Mayfield…

I’ve just bought a new bicycle but it came without accessories, if you see any, can you give me a bell ?

Did you know that AA Milne, the creator of Winnie the Pooh, had a smaller brother called AAA Milne…

A friend asked me to re-turf a field so that they could carry out a civil war re-enactment…

I thought “sod that for a game of soldiers !”

I was very happy to discover that when Hannibal retired from The A-Team, he went back to his family’s pipe-fitting business in Scotland…

I love it when a clan plumbs together.

I just read that Rod Stewart has five drinks of tea a day, all of varying sizes.

The first cup is the deepest…

I wish vets wouldn’t use complicated phrases such as ‘fertility neutralised female cat’.

Why don’t they just call a spayed a spayed?

My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex.

But my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.

Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions….

It was dreadful.

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions

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