Joke of the Day: Friday’s fortuitous fable of frankly fictional figures ….

I want to give up being a postman to become a comedian, but my delivery is awful.

Someone I know has got a job writing a new dictionary.

I’ve asked him to put a word in for me.

I got a new job as a chiropodist and found the first day really difficult.

I guess I was still finding my feet.

I lost my job at a fish bait company.

I opened a whole can of worms.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

I gave up ploughing because I was stuck in a rut.

I quit my job at the coffee shop.

Couldn’t stand the daily grind.

I made a name for myself whilst working in the Deed Poll office.

Went for a job as a blacksmith.

Chap asked me if I had ever shoed a horse.

I said “No, but I’ve told a donkey to go away”.

A friend of mine got a job as a judge for a mime talent contest.

It’s the quiet ones you’ve got to watch.

I had to give up my job at the dress alteration company.

Apparently, I didn’t turn up enough.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

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