Never discuss infinity with a mathematician.
You’ll never hear the end of it…
Phil Oakey was the lead singer of 80s pop band The Human League, but no one ever mentions his sister, Carrie, the inventor of singing badly in pubs…
Watched a film last night where Patrick Swayze teaches a girl how to type on a keyboard.
“QWERTY Dancing”…
If anyone has any decent fish puns, please let minnow…
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
He was disqualified.
How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
Little Johnny’s teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense, and detail.
Little Johnny says, “De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail.”
A giraffe walks into a bar and lies down.
A man walks in and says “Why is that lying there?”
The bartender says “That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.”
What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony.
My son might not be the best roofer in the world.
But he is up there.
My son told me he just watched a guy do 100 straight push-ups, and asked me if I could do that.
“Sure, son,” I said. “Heck, I could probably watch a guy do 500 straight push-ups.”
Did you hear about the boy who was impaled by a trampoline spring?
He’s hurt but will bounce back.
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