Joke of the Day: Thursday’s thoughtless theory of thankless throat-clearing ….

Should I be worried that my children are in the other room quietly reading through the “S” entries of the dictionary?

I think they’re up to something.

I’ve been reading a book about the history of paper towels…

It’s absolutely absorbing…

Thieves who stole three tonnes of tarmac are believed to currently be in hiding.

A police spokesman said; “We are hoping that they will resurface soon”.

Doctor: Drink a glass of milk after a hot bath.

Patient: No doctor, I don’t think I’ll have space left.

I was going to post about anti-climaxes, but in the end, I didn’t.

I’m entering the world’s tightest hat competition.

Just hope I can pull it off.

Words can’t express how much I hate World Emoji Day.

When I found out the water park was taking photos of me on their rides without my permission I was fluming.

Thing is, we all just want to belong.

But some of us be short.

A thesaurus is great.

There’s no other word for it.

‘Doctor, I keep spontaneously singing songs by The Who’

‘How long has this been happening?’

‘Ever since I was a young boy…’

10th of October was an excellent day.

In fact, I’d say it was definitely a 10/10!

I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course.

I’m really struggling to get out of it.

What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?

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