What do you call a guy pouring water into a glass?
Phil.
Midwives deserve a lot of respect.
They really help people out.
I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toast. It was then I realized…
…I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
(They’re old hat.)
Who needs rhetorical questions?
A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.
Yeah . . .right
What’s the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
I know she ate a worm but we are not here to debate de bait Deb ate…
Got one of those memory foam pillows last week…
It’s rubbish, I’ve forgotten where I put it.
Just watched a really interesting documentary about beavers.
Best dam programme I’ve ever seen.
I’ve started a business selling prayer mats which are also trampolines…
Prophets are going through the roof.
The highlight of my trip to the zoo was seeing an antelope.
I’d never seen an insect run off to get married before!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, although it’s only mild.
My business making clothes out of cheese has gone bust…
Turns out that fromage frays..
I used to work as a cheesemonger, but I camembert it any longer..
I keep meaning to stop procrastinating.
Age is a high price for maturity.
Broken guitar for sale – no strings attached.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
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