Wisdom Jokes

My dad always said “Don’t believe everything you hear”

It was great advice…

Or was it?

I’ve decided to put all my eggs in one basket so I don’t look daft walking around the supermarket.

Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark

When in doubt, mumble.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

Except that one where you’re naked in church.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Lif is too short.

Don’t be a sexist, birds hate that.

Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

My motto is “Never say never.” Which makes it very difficult to tell people my motto.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones….or sex parties.

An optimist is a person who doesn’t understand the enormity of the problem.

Taller people sleep longer in bed.

Those who get up at sunrise have many ideas dawn on them.

Never moon a werewolf.

Children in the back seat cause accidents.

And accidents in the back seat cause children.

Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the lamp-post.

Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night. Day.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary.

Experience is a wonderful thing.

It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

And that’s not all ….

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