Weather Jokes

Feeling a bit weather-beaten by the usual forecasts? Welcome to the sunny side of humor, where the skies are always clear and the jokes are guaranteed to bring a downpour of laughter! This site is your personal weather station for all things funny – puns about rain and shine, one-liners that’ll blow you away, and even some groan-worthy dad jokes that are sure to bring a light storm of chuckles. Whether you’re a sun worshiper or a snowflake enthusiast, we’ve got something to tickle your funny bone, regardless of the forecast. So, grab your metaphorical umbrella (or sunglasses), settle in, and get ready to experience a weather report unlike any other – one filled with pure laughter!

Forecast for tonight: Dark

I once got struck by lightning while sitting on the toilet!

That was a real shock to the cistern…

It’s raining cats and dogs out there.

I know, I just stepped in a poodle.

Why did Thor lose his lightning powers?

Because his father grounded him.

Wrote a play about the weather, and we had 5 actors dressed as clouds for the rehearsal.

On opening night 6 clouds turned up..

It was overcast!

Never mind cats and dogs, it was raining chickens and ducks yesterday. 

Fowl weather.

As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.

I’m saving for a rainy day. 

So far, I have an anorak, a couple of macs, and a dinghy.

What do you call a man wearing two raincoats? 

Max.

A friend of mine did his pilot’s exam just after a storm, and flew through a rainbow. 

He passed with flying colours.

How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?

With four casters.

When does it start to rain money?

When there is a change in the weather.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!

I asked a tall guy, “How’s the weather up there?

He spat on me and told me it was raining.

I asked Siri, “Surely the weather is not going to be this miserable again tomorrow?”

She replied, “Yes it will be and don’t call me Shirley.”

Looks like I forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

What do you call a weather joke with a bad punchline?

An anti-climactic climatic joke.

Don’t trust big changes in the weather.

It’s just a front.

I had an argument with my wife about the bad weather.

It soon blew over.

I hate people who phone me up complaining about the state of the weather.

That’s why I lost my job with the mountain rescue team.

If you make a lot of mistakes when texting in cold weather, you need to get warm.

It’s an early sign of typo-thermia.

It was so cold this morning my phone’s weather app froze.

I prefer cold weather.

But only to a certain degree.

The weather forecast was for freezing rain, and sure enough it was an ice day.

What do you call an arctic cold spell at the end of the year?

Decemburr!

I was going to go out in the freezing weather but I got cold feet.

I got hit on the head during a hail storm.

I was knocked out cold.

I’m feeling very alone in this cold weather.

In fact, I’m completely ice-olated.

I became a world renowned expert on cold weather.

And it only took 2 degrees to do it.

It was hot and sunny today and when I went to town I saw a line of guys outside a hairdressers.

I thought, “What a lovely day to have a barber queue.”

It was so hot the other day that even the mosquitoes were dropping like flies.

I had a great weekend.

I won the annual weather forecaster’s championships!

I beat the raining champion.

Dad: Looks like we’re going to have Santa’s favourite weather for Christmas this year.

Wife: Oh, is it going to snow?

Dad: No, rain dear.

Did you hear about the explosion at the Nissan factory?

It was raining Datsun cogs.

Why does it never rain when the internet is down?

Because it’s all based in the cloud.

What do you do with a weather ladder?

Climate.

I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone.

I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in climate change.

What’s the worst type of weather to hire?

Lightning, it’s always on strike.

And there’s more ….

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)