I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
What do you call it when you’re attracted to both men and women but neither are attracted to you?
Bi-yourself.
Science reveals that women have cleaner minds than men…
Since they change them every 10 seconds or so.
When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a female’s body.
Then I was born.
My wife told me that she used to be Christian.
“That’s not a problem,” I told her.
“Thanks, I’m much happier being a Christine now,” she replied.
My Grandad recently had to start using Viagra.
Grandma took it pretty hard.
I once dated a girl with a twin.
People asked me how I could tell them apart.
It was simple, Jill coloured her nails purple and Bob had a penis.
My son asked: “Are these gay cows, Daddy?”
“No, they’re bison,” I replied.
Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
An old man sat down next to me on a park bench.
“It’s nice out” I said to him.
“Yes. I think I’ll get mine out too.” he replies.
My dad sat me down and told me that he used to be a woman.
I thanked him for being so transparent.
My wife is leaving me because of the way I treat her friends.
“You’re not even a qualified Gynaecologist,” she said.
What’s the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you use a feather;
Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones….or sex parties.
The first time I had sex, it was in my parent’s bedroom.
My wife giggled nervously and moaned, “This is a bit awkward.”
I grunted, “Just ignore them.”
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