Nurse Jokes

Why did the nurse tiptoe past the medicine room?

Because she didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Doctor: “How’s the patient doing, the one who swallowed all the 20p coins?”

Nurse: “No change yet.”

Why do nurses always carry red crayons?

In case they need to draw blood.

Patient: “Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?”

Nurse: “Yes, if you can aim it right.”

Why should you never upset a pediatric nurse?

Because they have very little patients.

Why was the nurse angry?

She ran out of patients.

Why are night nurses such bad dancers?

Their circadian rhythm is generally off.

What is it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?

A mid-wife crisis.

I kept trying to play hide-and-seek when I was in the hospital but the nurses kept finding me in the ICU.

A nurse was late arriving at the hospital and after driving around the only parking spot she found was in the C section.

She had to climb out of the sunroof.

Never try lying to an X-ray technician.

They can see right through you.

Acupuncture.

What’s the point?

You should always be kind to nurses.

Remember they choose your catheter size.

Today’s jokes are dedicated to Cathy Shute.

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