Welcome to the ultimate collection of Valentine’s Day humor! Whether you’re looking to impress your crush, entertain friends, or simply laugh through the season of love, we’ve got you covered. From clever puns to hilarious one-liners, these jokes will add charm, humor, and a smile to your Valentine’s Day!
What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valen-tiny.
You’re like a good book; I can’t put you down.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m terrible at poems, so how about we just eat some food?
You must be a magician, because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
What do you call a bear on Valentine’s Day? A cuddle bug.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.
I’m not a baker, but you’re my sweetie pie.
Just got 15 Valentines cards! It’s left me completely breathless. That security guard at Clinton Cards gave quite a chase.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
I’m not saying you’re a dictionary, but you add meaning to my life.
If love is a crime, then I plead guilty.
Our love is like a well-aged cheese; it gets more Gouda with time.
Is your name Earl Grey? Because you’re my cup of tea.
My dating life is like a broken pencil… pointless. Happy Valentine’s Day to me!
You’re so sweet, you give me a toothache.
My doctor told me to embrace my mistakes, so I gave her a big hug on Valentine’s Day.
Our love is like a fine wine, it gets better with time, and sometimes a little tipsy.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married on Valentine’s Day? The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was great.
I’d make a terrible pirate, but I’d treasure you always.
You make my heart skip a beat, or maybe that’s just the caffeine.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. Happy Valentine’s Day.
What’s a vampire’s favorite day? Fang-tine’s Day.
I’m not a florist, but I think you’re blooming lovely.
What did the calculator say to its Valentine? You can count on me.
Is your name WiFi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet on Valentine’s Day? “I find you very attractive.”
My love for you is like my phone battery, it never seems to die, even when I use it all day.
For the past 20 years, I’ve had a Valentines card from a secret admirer. I was sad I didn’t get one this year! First my gran dies, now this!
And there’s more …..
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