I used to know a baker who had red hair.
He was a ginger bread man.
Someone banged into me in the bakery, smashing my pies & pasties.
Serves me right for putting all my Greggs in one basket.
What is it with bakers??
They’ve always got something to prove…
I said to the baker, “How come all your cakes are 50p, but that one’s £1?”
He said, “That’s Madeira cake”.
I feel sorry for the staff in Greggs.
They must be baking in there.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
An inventor shows his friend the first knife ever.
His friend says, “Wow! That’s the best thing since bread.”
The inventor says, “Well, I’m about to blow your mind.”
A long knife has been invented that cuts four loaves of bread at a time called a four loaf cleaver.
I have decided that from the start of next week I am going to dress as a different kind of bread every day.
Roll on Tuesday!
My friend has lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on his head.
It’s a new loaf hat diet he’s trying.
For my next trick, I will eat a musical instrument in a bread bap.
Drum roll please.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Just had some people at my door trying to convince me that ‘brown bread’ was better than ‘white bread’..
They were Hovis witnesses.
FUN FACT! Did you know that the patron saint of checking if your bread rolls are ready to come out of the oven is St John the Bap Test…?
Bread is a lot like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…
The birds were all over me.
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