Joke of the Day: Crosswords

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.

I can’t remember his name, it’s P something T something R.

If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over and say 7up is lemonade.

My teacher always said, “violence is never the answer”.

I’m stuck on the last clue on a £1000 prize crossword. 26 across – behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.

It’s V _ _ L _ N _ E

Any ideas?

Just lost in the final of the ‘UK Crossword Championship’…

Gutted isn’t the word!

Just been to the doctor and told him I was finishing crossword puzzles too quickly.

He replied ” try not to get two down”

Just spotted exactly the same crossword clue for an eleven letter word in two different newspapers.

Coincidence?

I like all sorts of puzzles, like jigsaws and crosswords, but dot to dots are where I draw the line.

The first rule of Crossword Club is (3,4,4,5,9,4).

I asked a friend if crossword compilers made up words.

He said, “No, just down and across words”.

I didn’t realise that I was addicted to crosswords but when I look back now, all the clues were there.

I know a chap who compiles crosswords and just turned 100.

He was sent an anagram from the King.

“Can’t get this crossword clue, ‘Overloaded Postman’”

“How many letters?

“Thousands of them”.

Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.

I’d fallen asleep on my crossword.

A friend was in a theatre production about crossword puns.

It was a play on words.

I suspect there will never be an edible version of a crossword, but if there is, I’ll eat my words.

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