Joke of the Day: Tuesday’s trunk of tomfoolery

I’ve been diagnosed with a rare type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands.

There is no cure.

Why don’t French people ever get two or more Easter eggs?

Because one egg is always un œuf.

I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs.

The birds love it!

Apparently, diet books are popular because they appeal to a wide audience.

My friend has just lost one of my Mr Men books.

No more ‘Mr Nice Guy’

I got covered in ketchup earlier today, from my head tomatoes.

Me: I’m looking for a book by Shakespeare…
Librarian: Which one?
Me: William

I’m really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.

They’re so full of themselves.

Here’s a picture of me with REM.

That’s me in the corner.

You know what’s really odd?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by 2.

What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?

A civil engineer.

What did sushi A say to sushi B when they met?

Wasabi.

I just Googled the phrase “missing medieval servant”.

It came back with “Page not found”.

I’ve written a book about falling down a staircase.

It’s a step-by-step guide.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)