To the person who stole my BBQ rotisserie last night…
What goes around comes around…
Gloria Gaynor invited six people round for dinner but one didn’t turn up.
“That’s OK,” she told her guests, “I will serve five…”.
At first, my wife hated the revolving chair I bought, but then she sat on it…
Eventually, she came around.
Beware, if you pee against an electric fence,
Urine trouble…
People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now…
Ireland‘s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Wife: “I’m sick of you pretending you’re a detective! I think we should split up”
Me: “Good idea. We can cover more ground that way”
When we first met, me and my girlfriend had sex in my car on the way home and it was pretty uncomfortable.
I wish we’d dropped my parents off first.
Which cheese can be used to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone!
I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
I’ve been banned from the Secret Cooking Society…
I kept spilling the beans.
As understudy in ‘Elton John The Musical’ I thought I’d get my chance when the lead actor went sick but they chose someone else…
I’m still stand-in.
The thing I love the most about this weather is the short skirts and low-cut tops.
Although they do make me look a bit camp.
An armed man robs a bank with 2 CDs glued to his glasses.
The cashier hands the man all the money and then says “Got to ask, what’s with the CDs?”
He replies “It’s my disk-eyes”
I called work this morning and whispered, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough.”
He exclaimed, “You have a wee cough?”
I said, “Really? Thanks, boss, see you next week!”
My printer’s name is Bob Marley
It always Be Jammin’
Last month, my wife bought a Sylvester Stallone pillow and put it in the middle of the bed.
Since then, things have been…. Rocky between us.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
The Sage Page 