Neighbour Jokes

I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.

My neighbour is dead against it.

My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes.

He’s a catholic converter.

My neighbour said she would lend me her waterproof canvas sheets for my camping holiday this Bank Holiday weekend.

Ta Pauline.

I saw my neighbour stealing my socks off my washing line.

I was going to confront him but I got cold feet…

This morning I saw my neighbor talking to her cat.

It was obvious the poor women thought the cat understood her.

When I got home I told my dog… we laughed a lot.

I’ve offered my elderly neighbour £10 to have a go on her stair lift…

I think she’s going to take me up on it.

Someone stole all my next door neighbours grass last night.

He’s out there now looking forlorn…

The kid next door has an imaginary drum kit.

Can’t beat that!

My neighbours are listening to great music.

Whether they like it or not.

Sometimes I hide my wife’s inhaler…

The neighbours think I’m a stud when they hear her panting heavily “Give it to me!”

My neighbour keeps posting joss sticks through my letterbox!

I’m incensed!

Did my first nude painting this morning.

The neighbours weren’t happy but the front door looks great!

My neighbour blamed my gravel for making him fall.

But it was his dumb asphalt.

Got invited to the neighbours for pre-Christmas drinks with nibbles.

They really spoil that cat.

And that’s not all …..

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