Jokes of the day.

I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past.

It was a bit choppy.

I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me, “How many potatoes would you like Andy?”.

I said “Ooh, I’ll just have one please”.

She said “It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite”

“Alright” I said “I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow”

What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

A toothless termite walks into a pub and asks ..
“Is the bar tender here?”

Two mice chewing on a film roll and one says to the other:

“I think the book was better”.

*** NOTICE ***

Can those attending tonight’s Kinky Sex Anonymous meeting please use the rear entrance.

Two blondes are talking

“I had a pregnancy test today” said the first.

Second said “Were the questions hard?”

Have you been a victim of faulty double glazing?

You could be entitled to condensation

I’ve been thinking about selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.

Imagine all the PayPal..

I’ve written a book about sandpaper…

It’s a work of friction…

My Spanish bodybuilder friend told me he’s run out of protein powder…

I thought “no whey Jose’!”

Two dogs are sitting in a bar.

The first says, “Wanna hear a joke?”

The second dog says, “Sure!”

The first dog says, “Knock knock.”

The second says…


Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft?

He conditioned it.

Published by The Sage Page


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