Clothing Jokes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

Not sure what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.

I’m struggling with these shoes I bought from East Asia..

They came with two pairs of laces but I can only Taiwan…

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

What wears a fur coat in winter, and pants in summer?

A dog.

What color socks do bears wear?

They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet!

Me: “These orthodox shoes are great.”

Wife: “It’s ‘orthopaedic’ shoes.”

Me: “I stand corrected.”

I used to enjoy dressing up as a nun occasionally, but now I can’t seem to get out of the habit…

What does a house wear to a party?


I get so angry when I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt.

I just can’t take it.

My wife kept going on and on about what she should use the empty drawer for.

Eventually, I told her to put a sock in it.

Her: ‘Undress me with your words…’

Him: ‘There’s a spider in your bra !!’

I saw someone holding a pair of shoes to his ears.

Apparently, he was listening to sole music.

I had to give up my job at the dress alteration company.

Apparently, I didn’t turn up enough.

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?

An egg.

Fun Fact: “T-Shirt” is actually short for “Tyrannosaurus Shirt”

Because of the shorter arms.

What do you call a man wearing two raincoats?


I’m entering the world’s tightest hat competition.

Just hope I can pull it off.

My left shoe says “I don’t smoke or drink”.

My right shoe says “I don’t do drugs”.

They are a pair of sensible shoes…

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the logo below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page


2 thoughts on “Clothing Jokes

    1. Thanks Ellie, to tell you the truth I am a magpie! I collect the jokes I like each day from various places. I have about 3,800 at the moment! I like oneliners and homophones, and simple puns … and they must be clean (or cleanish), the sort of jokes you could tell at the family meal table. It is my release ffom my more serious writing. I am glad you like them.

      Liked by 2 people

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