Joke of the Day: Pizza

I wasn’t expecting the pizza delivery guy to turn up tonight wearing a Gloria Gaynor face mask! At first, I was afraid…

What’s the difference between a simple person and a pizza?

One is easy to cheat, and the other is cheesy to eat.

“I’m here to collect my pizza”

“Would you like olives?”

“No, just mine.”

Did you hear about the lobster that got a job at Pizza Hut?

He works in the crust station.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate pizza long before it was cool.

I was arguing with a friend in Pizza Hut the other day when my best mate came over, grabbed the garlic bread and coleslaw from our table, and ran off. I wish he would stop taking sides.

My local pizzeria has just made the world’s largest pizza base. I’d like to see someone top that.

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza.

Should have used aloha temperature.

I have been trying to write a new pizza joke but I can’t work out the delivery…

I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day. He wasn’t happy.

Chap goes to collect his pizza and asks if he wants it cut into six or twelve pieces.

“Six”, he says, “I could never eat twelve”.

I would tell you a joke about pizza toppings but it’s too cheesy.

The best way to stop a pizza curling is to hide its brush.

I called a local pizza place the other night and said,

“Do you do takeaways?”

They said “Yes”, so I said “What’s 23452 minus 345?”

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