Studies have shown that cows will produce more milk when the farmer talks to them…
It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
Two cows in a field on a cold winter’s night.
One cow says to the other, “I don’t know about you but I’m fresian”
Police are on the lookout after a man has been breaking into farms and stealing cows.
They are looking for a male with a large moo-stash.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milk shake!
My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.
I always see Himalayan there.
What does a narcissistic cow say?
Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says “MOOOOO!”
The other cow says pretty much the same thing.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they’re a lot harder to catch than cows.
My son asked: “Are these gay cows, Daddy?”
“No, they’re bison,” I replied.
Cowboys don’t roll joints.
They tumble weed.
Where do cows go on a Saturday night?
How did the farmer find his missing cow?
He tractor down.
What goes “oom, oom”?
A cow walking backwards.
What has one horn and provides milk?
A dairy lorry.
What goes “booo, booo, booo”?
A cow with a cold.
Deja-Moo: That feeling that you have heard this bull before.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
How do you know when it is time for cows to go to sleep?
When it’s pasture bedtime.
Two cows in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
Of course, some cow jokes are better than udders…
One cow says to another, “How do you shoo flies?”
The other replies, “I let them go barefoot”
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