Joke of the Day: Birds

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

I’ve started using geese heading south for winter to shave small pieces of cheese.

They are migrating birds.

I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide yesterday. I asked her what kind of activity she’d seen…

She replied “It’s been seven owls and fifteen jays….”

Where do birds meet for coffee?


What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I bought a ‘self-assembly’ bird table last week…

I put it in the garden and they haven’t even opened the box yet!

Can anyone remember?

What was the name of the big bird in Sesame Street?

We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night…

Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…

The birds were all over me.

Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.

So the oily bird gets the warm.

I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…

He’s certainly a shorn canary…

I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.

They are flying off the shelves!

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page


5 thoughts on “Joke of the Day: Birds

    1. I collect jokes, rarely change them, sometimes bring them up to date. Tim Vine is my no 1 favourite comic. Before him of course was Tommy Cooper! Milton Jones is a bit irreverant but still funny. I have nearly 4000 jokes in my collection now and I still add to them when I see a good one. But they must be 1 or maybe 2 liners! By haivng a speradsheet I can word search the library. It’s just a funny hobby I guess.


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