Joke of the Day: Birds

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

I’ve started using geese heading south for winter to shave small pieces of cheese.

They are migrating birds.

I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide yesterday. I asked her what kind of activity she’d seen…

She replied “It’s been seven owls and fifteen jays….”

Where do birds meet for coffee?

Nest-cafe.

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I bought a ‘self-assembly’ bird table last week…

I put it in the garden and they haven’t even opened the box yet!

Can anyone remember?

What was the name of the big bird in Sesame Street?

We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night…

Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…

The birds were all over me.

Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.

So the oily bird gets the warm.

I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…

He’s certainly a shorn canary…

I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.

They are flying off the shelves!

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page

Philosopher

5 thoughts on “Joke of the Day: Birds

    1. I collect jokes, rarely change them, sometimes bring them up to date. Tim Vine is my no 1 favourite comic. Before him of course was Tommy Cooper! Milton Jones is a bit irreverant but still funny. I have nearly 4000 jokes in my collection now and I still add to them when I see a good one. But they must be 1 or maybe 2 liners! By haivng a speradsheet I can word search the library. It’s just a funny hobby I guess.

      Like

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