A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.
I’ve started using geese heading south for winter to shave small pieces of cheese.
They are migrating birds.
I saw Sinead O’Connor in a birdwatching hide yesterday. I asked her what kind of activity she’d seen…
She replied “It’s been seven owls and fifteen jays….”
Where do birds meet for coffee?
Nest-cafe.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I bought a ‘self-assembly’ bird table last week…
I put it in the garden and they haven’t even opened the box yet!
Can anyone remember?
What was the name of the big bird in Sesame Street?
We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night…
Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.
I went to a fancy dress party last weekend dressed as a loaf of bread…
The birds were all over me.
Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat.
So the oily bird gets the warm.
I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…
He’s certainly a shorn canary…
I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.
They are flying off the shelves!
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)
These are great, do you craft them yourself , maybe borrow a few ?
It seems to be almost exclusively Brit one line joke excellence – Milton Jones,
Tim Vine, Chris Turner and the somewhat off colour Gary Delaney !
LikeLiked by 1 person
I collect jokes, rarely change them, sometimes bring them up to date. Tim Vine is my no 1 favourite comic. Before him of course was Tommy Cooper! Milton Jones is a bit irreverant but still funny. I have nearly 4000 jokes in my collection now and I still add to them when I see a good one. But they must be 1 or maybe 2 liners! By haivng a speradsheet I can word search the library. It’s just a funny hobby I guess.
LikeLike
Wonderful✨😍 👍
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Yaksh. Drop by again soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sure I’ll and please you also do the same dude. Waiting for your review on my posts. Thanks, Yaksh.😊🙏
LikeLiked by 2 people