Joke of the Day: Magic

I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician when I pulled a habit out of a rat.

I come from a family of entertainers, my dad was a failed magician.

I’ve also got two half-sisters.

I’ve started using garlic in my magic act.

First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts and then I blend them all together with some Parmesan and olive oil.

Then… hey… pesto!

For my next magic trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap.

Drum roll please…

A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree.

Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!”

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

What do you call a magical bra?

An abracadabra.

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

He went down the road and turned into a field.

A Mexican magician was doing a magic show.

He said “Uno, dos…”

And he disappeared without a tres.

I showed a mime a magic trick.

He was speechless.

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

Moodoo.

My son asked me to make him a paper airplane.

I tried all the magic I know but he’s still just a boy.

I have got a magical hoodie.

I call it hoodieni.

How many magicians does it take to do magic?

Just one will do the trick.

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hoodini.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

These jokes were inspired by Boriana, and written whilst drinking her coffee. Thank you Boriana.