Joke of the Day: Tax

Why are Sherlock Holmes’ taxes so low?

Because he’s a master of deduction.

Why does Santa spend January filling in his tax return?

Because he’s elf employed.

If I had £1 for every time I looked on the negative side of things,

I’d have a huge tax bill.

My local tax office is a lovely place to work.

Everybody counts.

A local builder has been avoiding tax by installing long rods into toilets.

The tax office says it’s a loo pole that they will investigate.

You can tell Monopoly is an old game.

Because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

What kind of insect helps people with their taxes?

An account ant.

I heard the atheists are trying to get tax-exempt status now.

They are a non-prophet organization.

How do crabs evade taxes?

They set up shell corporations.

I saw a lady in tears at the store.

She said she had lost an envelope with her tax refund inside.

I gave her £100 because I felt sorry for her.

Plus I had just found about £1,600 in the car park.

What’s the difference between Al Capone and Anakin Skywalker driving an Uber?

One is a tax evader, the other is a taxi Vader.

IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes.

Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years.

But they’re having a really hard time putting their case together.

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