Why shouldn’t you shake hands with Tigger?
Because he plays with Pooh.
My Mum’s sister keeps taking the law into her own hands…
She’s a vigilauntie.
I recently went to a seance hosted by Neil Diamond…
Hands, touching hands, reaching out…
6.30 is the best time on a clock.
I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
I was once abducted by aliens.
They made me wash my hands, blow my nose, clean my room, and eat my vegetables…
Turns out I was on the mothership.
They say that being a hostage is hard and mentally draining but… I reckon I could do it with my hands tied behind my back.
My Grandad was a bit of a hoarder. He never liked to throw anything away.
He died in the war holding a hand grenade.
When I told my wife I had been seeing her sister you could hear a pin drop.
Then I saw the grenade in her hand!
I just sold all my glove puppets.
A collector phoned and offered me £200 to take them off my hands…
How many bones are in your hand?
About a handful.
Ticket inspectors; you’ve got to hand it to them.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)