Joke of the Day: Dark

I’m in so much debt, I can’t afford to pay my electric bill.

These are the darkest days of my life.

I don’t like to talk about my years spent working as a cinema usher.

I was in a dark place at the time.

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

Forecast for tonight:

Dark

Why were the Dark Ages so dark?

Because there were so many knights.

We’ve got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night…

Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, “what are you going to do now?”

God said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”

I saw a horse in a wild west show that glowed in the dark once. #

Think he was rodeo active.

The electricity company cut my friend off without telling him why..

I don’t know why they’re keeping him in the dark.

Friend of mine got a job as a road cleaner who only works after dark.

I don’t know how he sweeps at night.

Was in an interview once and got asked to describe my life in a nutshell.

I said, “it’s cramped and dark in here”.

Why did the Jedi cross the road?

To get to the Dark Side.

My local football team has lost more matches than me trying to light a candle in the dark.

Making a film about playing chess in a lift.

The Dark Knight Rises.

A friend has a horse that will only come out after dark.

It’s a nightmare.

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