Joke of the Day: Restaurants

Asked in a local restaurant how they prepare their chickens.

Chap said, “We just tell them straight that they’re going to die”.

I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager said: “Do you mind waiting a bit?”

I said “No.”

“Good” he said. “Take these drinks to table 7.”

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French and surprised everybody.

It was a Chinese restaurant.

Had lunch yesterday at an excellent Christian restaurant called “The Lord Giveth”.

They also do takeaways.

I was eating at a restaurant last night when a waitress screamed, ”Does anyone know CPR?” I

shouted, ”I know the whole alphabet.”

Everyone laughed…

Well everyone except this one guy.

Despite zero experience, I’m opening a BBQ restaurant next to the courthouse.

It’ll be Trial by Fire.

Went to a trendy restaurant and had a pelican curry.

Tasted ok, but the bill was enormous.

Stayed in an Elvis themed hotel.

The burgers in the restaurant are for people who Love Meat Tender.

I had dinner once with a Chess Grand Master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths..

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Out for dinner last night, I ordered from The Specials menu.

Think I had Too Much Fu Yung.

Went to a restaurant last night with my wife.

Chap said, “Do you have reservations?”.

I said, “Yes, the food is probably overcooked and bland”.

A friend has bought an old aircraft, taken the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant beside the airport terminal.

I don’t think it will take off.

Phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two.

Chap said I had the wrong number so asked for a table for four instead.

I called a local restaurant the other night and said, “Do you do takeaways?”

They said “Yes”, so I said “what’s 23452 minus 345?”

There’s a new Italian Restaurant called “Good King Wenceslas”.

All their pizzas are deep pan, crisp, and even.

Local Italian restaurant has made the country’s biggest pizza base.

I’d love to see someone top that.

I was in the local Karma Restaurant the other night.

No main courses on the menu.

Just desserts.

I was in an Indian restaurant the other night, and I ordered my naan bread.

I don’t know why, she doesn’t even like it.

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