I really don’t want to see puns about French eggs on Twitter anymore.
Un oeuf is un oeuf.
It’s IKEA’s birthday today, so I took them some eggs, flour, icing sugar, butter and a whisk, and told them there’s your damn cake.
FUN FACT!
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk…
It’s one of the few animals that can make its own custard!
I’ve lost my job at the farm collecting eggs from chickens.
I’ve been laid off.
Saw the world’s largest egg earlier.
Thought to myself, that’ll take some beating.
I just wrote a really good egg joke.
But someone’s poached it off me…
I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon.
I’ll let you know…
Farmer thought that the barn he kept his chickens in was haunted.
Had to call an eggsorcist.
Turns out it was a poultrygeist.
I’ve decided to put all my eggs in one basket so I don’t look daft walking around the supermarket.
Whenever I eat eggs benedict it reminds me of the time I lived in the Netherlands…
Those were my Holland days…
The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died.
RIP Scott Chegg.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Great Eggspectations.
A classic novel by Charles Chickens.
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg.
Where’s the best place to find out about eggs?
In a hencyclopedia.
What’s an egg’s least favourite day?
Fryday.
What do you call a travelling egg?
An Eggsplorer.
How do chickens leave the motorway?
They take the eggs-it.
What is a chicken racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
I bought a dalek egg timer.
After three minutes, it shouts “Eggs Terminate”…
What does a space chicken lay?
Eggstra-Terrestrials.
Spent hours questioning an egg.
Think it’s about to crack.
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)