Joke of the Day: Tennis

My wife asked, “Do you know any tennis puns?”

I said, “No, they’re not really my forte love”.

I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players…

The servers are currently down.

My wife said to me “There are 14 reasons why I’m leaving you, and don’t even get me started on your tennis obsession!”

I said “Well that’s 15, love…”

Why is the divorce rate so high with tennis players?

To them, Love means nothing.

I’ve just got back from my friend’s funeral.

He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

I’ve sacked my tennis doubles partner.

I’ve told him his services are no longer required.

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve.

He kept returning it.

My wife said to me, “We need to get to the tennis court before it opens.”

I asked, “Why so early?”

She said, “It’s first come first serve.”

My wife was disappointed when she found out why my friends call me “The Love Machine”.

Because I suck at tennis.

Did you hear they invented a new version of tennis that’s supposed to be harder?

It’s called elevennis.

Why should dog owners invest in tennis balls?

They have a high rate of return.

Are kindly tennis umpires generous to a fault?

I’m trying to get a petition together to prevent the construction of tennis courts in my local park.

I just think there’ll be too much racket.

What was the score when the lemon played tennis with the orange?

Deuce.

I got arrested for crying after losing my tennis match.

I’ve been charged with racket tearing.

My tennis double’s partner is a waiter from my local restaurant.

You should see him serve.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page

Philosopher

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