Joke of the Day: Writing

I bought a new thesaurus today.

It’s nothing to write house about.

I dreamt I had to write my own epitaph.

That’s a grave sign.

I went on a trip to a postcard factory last week.

It was OK. Nothing to write home about.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

There’s no point.

For our chemistry exam, we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

I write songs about sewing machines.

I’m a singer songwriter…

I asked the librarian to recommend an author who writes dinosaur books.

“Try Sarah Topps,” she replied…

I started composing a song for Spandau Ballet, but then I found it hard to write the next line.

When I left home, my mum said “Don’t forget to write”.

I thought, “That’s unlikely”… It’s a basic skill, isn’t it….

If today has taught me three things, it’s that I should write more stuff down and two other things.

My wife asked me to bring her something hard to write on.

I don’t know why she got so mad at me. It’s pretty hard to write on sand.

My teenage daughter can’t decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer.

I guess she’ll have to flip a coin. Heads or tales.

I’m going to write a novel set on an allotment…

I just need to find a decent plot…

I have been trying to write a new pizza joke but I can’t work out the delivery…

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)