Hey, I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s..
I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day in my fort.
Just come back from the London Marathon after-race party… I was hoping to see lots of famous celebrities, but all I saw were loads of b listers…
BREAKING NEWS!
Sir Paul McCartney has been disqualified from The London Marathon.
He was banned on the run…
I start my new job as an apprentice bell ringer tomorrow.
It’s my first day, so they’ll just be showing me the ropes…
I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…
He’s certainly a shorn canary…
I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.
They are flying off the shelves!
If laziness was an Olympic sport.
I’d come in fourth so I wouldn’t have to walk up to the…
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