Friday’s facile fanfare of fake fairwells ….

Hey, I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s..

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day in my fort.

Just come back from the London Marathon after-race party… I was hoping to see lots of famous celebrities, but all I saw were loads of b listers…

BREAKING NEWS!

Sir Paul McCartney has been disqualified from The London Marathon.

He was banned on the run…

I start my new job as an apprentice bell ringer tomorrow.

It’s my first day, so they’ll just be showing me the ropes…

I gave my pet bird a haircut, and now he thinks he’s James Bond…

He’s certainly a shorn canary…

I’ve opened up a shop selling uncaged birds.

They are flying off the shelves!

If laziness was an Olympic sport.

I’d come in fourth so I wouldn’t have to walk up to the podium.

How do you milk sheep?

Release another iPhone.

Maths and alcohol don’t mix.

Please don’t drink and derive.

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)