I’ve just been to a pub called “The Old Fiddle”.
I wouldn’t go there again though, it was a vile inn…
The first rule of ‘Cliff Richard Club’ is that we don’t talk anymore about ‘Cliff Richard Club’…
Puns about ‘Riverdance’?
I flatley refuse to post them.
Police have arrested a man allegedly caught stealing ballroom dancing dresses and shoes.
They are believed to be pressing cha cha charges…
Most ornamental figurines found in gardens are only 12 inches tall and wear red hats.
It’s a little gnome fact…
I bought a greyhound yesterday.
My mate said, “Are you going to race him?”
I said, “No, he’s much faster than me!”
My wife has insisted that I take up boxing and call her Adrian…
I think we’re going through a bit of a Rocky patch.
Loud laughing IS allowed in Hawaii, not just a low ‘Ha!’
My wife and I are both tightrope walkers.
We met online…
ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
I was driving down the road when I ran over some hummus.
A little further on, I hit Taramasalata.
Then I saw a road sign: ‘Caution – dips in the road’
I met a girl with a pint on her head at the pub last night.
Her name was Beatrix.
Think your life’s tough?
Try buying a Wii in France.
Have YOU had to walk 500 miles?
Were you advised to walk 500 more?
You could be entitled to compensation.
Call the Pro Claimers NOW!
Waltz classes aren’t going very well.
Two steps forward one step back.
My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Lovely woman, terrible surgeon.
My boss just announced he’s going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have got a hunch it could be me.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said, “Thanks!”
I said, “Don’t mention it.”
Dirty Derek the local flasher was thinking about retiring, but he’s decided to stick it out for another year!
So I went to the dentist.
He said “Say Aaah.”
I said “Why?”
He said “My dog’s died.'”
Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the link below…. (thanks in advance)