“To convince people you’re not actually a spy, start every conversation by shouting ‘Who are you?!’”
Because nothing says “I’m clearly not undercover” like behaving in the most suspicious way possible.
This advice, plucked from the Sage’s dusty file of Techniques That Haven’t Been Peer-Reviewed, guarantees you’ll make an impression — ideally one that prevents people from asking you any questions.
Great for parties, meetings, and chance encounters at garden centres.
Less effective in libraries, train stations, or while approaching a police horse.
Still, it’s the perfect balance of confusion, assertiveness, and plausible deniability.
And if anyone doubts you? Shout it louder.
The Sage Page 