Advice of the Day – The Sage Page

Advice of the Day: Disposing of Used Tissues

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles disposing of used tissues with a zany, counter-intuitive method involving gravity and complete disregard for bins. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, unhygienic, and gloriously impractical.

Advice of the Day: Treating a Cold

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles treating a cold with a truly bizarre, counter-intuitive solution involving slugs and questionable life choices. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, surreal, and guaranteed to raise eyebrows.

Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom

Today’s Viz Top Tip:
Save time cleaning your bathroom by setting off a small, controlled explosion and starting again.

Bathroom cleaning can involve scrubbing, chemicals, and an uncomfortable awareness of what you’re actually dealing with. The Wise Sage believes this is an inefficient use of both time and dignity.

Instead, take a more decisive approach. By removing the bathroom entirely, you eliminate not only the dirt, but the very concept of cleaning. A carefully judged detonation (or, failing that, aggressive demolition with a hammer while muttering “that’ll do it”) allows you to return the room to a blank canvas — or at least a vaguely alarming hole.

For those seeking a less dramatic method, the Sage recommends turning on all taps, blocking the drains, and allowing nature to conduct a full-scale “rinse cycle” of the entire room. Over time, either the bathroom will be clean, or it will no longer be recognisably a bathroom — both acceptable outcomes.

If questioned, simply say you are “renovating.” This is a remarkably versatile explanation and will prevent most follow-up enquiries.

As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for structural damage, confused neighbours, or explaining to an insurance company why your sink is now in the garden.

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The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles cleaning the bathroom with a completely unusable, nuclear-level solution involving demolition and total reset. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, chaotic, and guaranteed to avoid actual cleaning altogether.

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Advice of the Day: Choosing a Pet

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles choosing a pet with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom, suggesting you simply pick the loudest animal available. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to pet ownership is chaotic, unpredictable, and dangerously entertaining.

Advice of the Day: Peeling Potatoes

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles peeling potatoes with a dangerously absurd method involving lawnmowers and power tools. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to cooking is chaotic, impractical, and guaranteed to raise eyebrows — if not serious concerns.

Advice of the Day: Drying Your Laundry

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles drying laundry with a bold, counter-intuitive method: wearing wet clothes to speed up the process. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to household efficiency is absurd, uncomfortable, and dangerously practical.

Advice of the Day: Remembering People’s Names

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles remembering people’s names with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide suggests avoiding the problem entirely, resulting in awkward conversations, clever deflections, and surprisingly effective social survival tactics.

Advice of the Day: Pretending to Be on the Phone

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles pretending to be on the phone with bold, counter-intuitive techniques for avoiding awkward conversations. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to social escape is clever, absurd, and dangerously effective.

Advice of the Day: Picking Your Nose in Public

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the delicate subject of picking your nose in public with bold, counter-intuitive confidence. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide turns social embarrassment into a display of authority, resulting in awkward yet strangely effective behaviour.

Advice of the Day: Choosing a Ringtone

The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles choosing a ringtone with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide suggests using embarrassment as motivation to answer calls quickly, resulting in awkward, noisy, and highly effective phone habits.