The Wise Sage returns with another gloriously unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” explaining why you should never rush to pick up something you’ve dropped. In true Viz Top Tips style, this absurd guide suggests that patient staring and strategic awkwardness are all you need to persuade complete strangers to do the bending for you.
Tag Archives: Advice
Advice of the Day: The Wisdom of Crowds
The Wise Sage returns with another “Advice of the Day,” exploring why common sense often disappears when large groups get together. Blending genuine wisdom with classic Viz Top Tips absurdity, this humorous guide examines crowds, questionable decisions and why following everyone else is sometimes the worst idea imaginable.
Advice of the Day: Saving Time at Breakfast
The Wise Sage tackles morning efficiency with another spectacularly unhelpful “Advice of the Day.” Why waste time eating breakfast and brushing your teeth separately when you can do both at once? Featuring toothpaste-covered toast, toothbrush cereal spoons and minty cornflakes, this absurd Viz Top Tips-style guide takes multitasking somewhere it really shouldn’t go.
Advice of the Day: Feeding the Kids
The Wise Sage serves up another hilariously unhelpful “Advice of the Day,” explaining why spaghetti should only ever be served on bath nights. In true Viz Top Tips style, this absurd parenting guide celebrates flying meatballs, tomato sauce disasters, and the glorious inevitability of children wearing more dinner than they eat.
Advice of the Day: Trusting Dogs
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously unhelpful “Advice of the Day.” This time he explains why dogs should be trusted as the ultimate judges of human character. In true Viz Top Tips style, it’s packed with absurd logic, terrible decision-making, and enough canine wisdom to ruin perfectly good friendships.
Advice of the Day: Taking the Blame
The Wise Sage returns with another wonderfully irresponsible “Advice of the Day.” This time he explains how to avoid taking the blame for anything by ensuring there’s always somebody else nearby. In true Viz Top Tips style, it’s packed with absurd logic, terrible life advice, and gloriously misplaced confidence.
Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom
Advice of the Day: Cleaning the Bathroom
Today’s Viz Top Tip:
Save time cleaning your bathroom by setting off a small, controlled explosion and starting again.
Bathroom cleaning can involve scrubbing, chemicals, and an uncomfortable awareness of what you’re actually dealing with. The Wise Sage believes this is an inefficient use of both time and dignity.
Instead, take a more decisive approach. By removing the bathroom entirely, you eliminate not only the dirt, but the very concept of cleaning. A carefully judged detonation (or, failing that, aggressive demolition with a hammer while muttering “that’ll do it”) allows you to return the room to a blank canvas — or at least a vaguely alarming hole.
For those seeking a less dramatic method, the Sage recommends turning on all taps, blocking the drains, and allowing nature to conduct a full-scale “rinse cycle” of the entire room. Over time, either the bathroom will be clean, or it will no longer be recognisably a bathroom — both acceptable outcomes.
If questioned, simply say you are “renovating.” This is a remarkably versatile explanation and will prevent most follow-up enquiries.
As always, The Sage accepts no responsibility for structural damage, confused neighbours, or explaining to an insurance company why your sink is now in the garden.
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The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles cleaning the bathroom with a completely unusable, nuclear-level solution involving demolition and total reset. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide is absurd, chaotic, and guaranteed to avoid actual cleaning altogether.
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Advice of the Day: Drying Your Laundry
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles drying laundry with a bold, counter-intuitive method: wearing wet clothes to speed up the process. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide to household efficiency is absurd, uncomfortable, and dangerously practical.
Advice of the Day: Remembering People’s Names
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles remembering people’s names with bold, counter-intuitive wisdom. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide suggests avoiding the problem entirely, resulting in awkward conversations, clever deflections, and surprisingly effective social survival tactics.
Advice of the Day: Picking Your Nose in Public
The Wise Sage returns with another hilariously reckless “Advice of the Day.” This time he tackles the delicate subject of picking your nose in public with bold, counter-intuitive confidence. In true Viz Top Tips style, this guide turns social embarrassment into a display of authority, resulting in awkward yet strangely effective behaviour.
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