Rain is nature’s way of saying, “You left your laundry out.”
But the Sage takes a different approach. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t open an umbrella. He simply denies the rain’s existence entirely.
“Dryness,” he insists, “is psychological. If you act dry, people will assume you’re dry. Even if your socks squelch.”
This advice, while useless in any practical sense, does have the benefit of making you look confident. And mildly deranged. Which are basically the same thing in British weather.
So next time the heavens open and everyone’s doing the brolly dance, just stand firm. Smiling. Slightly damp. Philosophically superior.
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