Advice: “Keep your phone battery at 100% by never leaving the house without a very long extension lead.”
The Sage recognises the modern terror of the “low battery” warning. Entire civilisations may have risen and fallen without Wi-Fi, but the mere sight of a red sliver on your screen is enough to reduce the bravest soul to panic. His solution? The humble extension lead.
By dragging one behind you like an electric tail, you can remain plugged into the mains at all times. True, it may cause tripping hazards, doorframe entanglements, and occasional altercations with passing cyclists — but you’ll always have 100% power and the smug glow of knowing you’ve beaten the system.
Critics will say this advice is impractical, but that is the very point. The Sage insists that wisdom lies not in what works, but in what makes others raise an eyebrow and mutter, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
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The Sage Page 