Advice: “Always win debates by carrying a set of bagpipes.”
The Sage understands that logic, reason, and evidence often fall short in the heat of a debate. That’s why he recommends a more traditional method of persuasion: the unmistakable drone of bagpipes. Few arguments can withstand the sonic onslaught of “Scotland the Brave” played at full volume in a confined space.
This technique has the added advantage of bypassing the need for eloquence. Rather than constructing a carefully reasoned case, you simply inflate your pipes and let the noise do the talking. Critics will fall silent — partly in awe, mostly in self-preservation. Victory, in this context, is defined as being the last person still in the room.
Of course, there is a small chance your bagpipes will not resolve the debate so much as clear the building. But The Sage insists this is merely an advanced form of consensus: once everyone has fled, who is left to disagree with you?
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