Advice of the Day: Sock Security

Advice of the Day: Sock Security

Advice: Stop losing socks by tattooing them onto your feet.


The Sage has long pondered one of life’s great mysteries: the disappearing sock. Washing machines may spin, dryers may hum, but somehow, socks vanish into the ether, never to be seen again. His solution is both permanent and questionable: have them tattooed directly onto your feet.

This, he argues, guarantees lifelong matching pairs. No more searching under beds, no more odd socks for formal occasions, and certainly no more debates about whether it’s acceptable to wear stripes with spots. The downside, of course, is explaining to a tattoo artist why you’re asking for argyle across your toes.

While society may not yet be ready for this revolution in laundry-free living, The Sage believes history will vindicate him. After all, true wisdom often looks strange at first glance — especially if it comes with a permanent pair of novelty Christmas socks.


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Published by The Sage Page

Philosopher

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