Advice: Impress your friends by claiming every meal you cook is ‘deconstructed’ — even if it’s just burnt.
The Sage has long insisted that fine dining is mostly about presentation and vocabulary. Why admit to culinary disaster when you can rebrand it as innovation? A collapsed soufflé becomes “rustically deconstructed.” A charred lasagne? “Postmodern interpretation of pasta.” Even an empty plate can be explained as “minimalism.”
This advice elevates every clumsy cook into a master chef. Guests may raise an eyebrow, but with enough flourish and the right tone of voice, they’ll nod as if they’ve just eaten art. And if all else fails, serve wine first — lots of it.
Of course, there are limits. Not every scorched casserole can be excused as “avant-garde,” and there’s always the risk of someone calling your bluff with an actual recipe book. But The Sage insists that confidence is the best seasoning, and nothing says confidence like presenting burnt toast as haute cuisine.
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