“Never pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.”
The Sage
The Sage has lived a long and perilous life, but nothing — not wild animals, not faulty ladders, not even supermarket self-checkouts — has ever prepared him for the horror of the phrase: “Pull my finger.” Today’s wisdom is therefore short, urgent, and potentially life-saving: “Never pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.”
According to The Sage, this is the oldest prank in human history, passed down from generation to generation like a cursed relic. Every dad, upon reaching a certain age, unlocks an innate ability to weaponise humour in gaseous form. The innocent child believes they are participating in a harmless ritual. The father knows they are participating in a biological attack.
The Sage warns that once triggered, there is no escape: the sound, the aftermath, the psychological impact — all permanent. Survivors report confusion, betrayal, and a newfound respect for air fresheners. So heed this ancient wisdom: when Dad smiles mischievously and extends his finger… run.
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The Sage Page 