“Always drink upstream from the herd.”
The sage
The Sage has wandered many lands, crossed many rivers, and stepped in more things than he cares to remember. From these questionable experiences comes today’s watery wisdom: “Always drink upstream from the herd.”
It’s less a proverb and more a desperate plea from a man who has, on more than one occasion, mistaken a suspiciously warm puddle for a natural spring.
According to The Sage, herds — whether cows, sheep, or anything with hooves and poor bladder control — have an impeccable talent for contaminating every water source they encounter. The Sage once learned this the hard way during what he fondly refers to as The Incident of the Unfortunate Sip. Since then, he has concluded that the safest water is always found well upstream, preferably separated from livestock by at least one hill, a fence, and ideally a small moat.
So take heed: when you come across a peaceful stream and think, “What a lovely spot for a drink,” first ask yourself a simple question… Which way did the cows go? The answer may save your day, your dignity, and your digestive system.
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