“Ask what their ex used to buy — then go bigger.”
– The Sage
The Sage has always believed that love is not about comparison — except when it absolutely is. His advice today is bold, reckless, and likely to require medical supervision: “Ask what their ex used to buy — then go bigger.”
According to The Sage, this approach removes uncertainty. If the ex bought flowers, you buy a bouquet large enough to block out natural light. If they gave chocolates, you deliver a hamper that requires a forklift. Romance, he insists, is a competitive sport — and victory lies in scale.
The Sage does, however, acknowledge the risks. Mentioning the ex may cause silence. Going bigger may cause suspicion. Doing both may cause you to sleep on the sofa. But he maintains that commitment is best demonstrated through excessive escalation and unwavering confidence. Love, after all, should be memorable — if not survivable.
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The Sage Page 