Friday Jokes!

I’ve just got a new job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s farm.

I’m the CIEIO.

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

“Okay” I said, ” You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”

The doctor said to me, “Do you know you have a serious problem vocalizing your emotions?”

I said, “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One of them is an elephant.

My colleague can no longer attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot.

I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus.

I thought to myself, “Wow! That could have been me!”

Then I remembered I can’t drive a bus.

I went to the doctor and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’

I said, ‘Not that as well.

OK, so “Naked Running” apparently means; no music, no watch, no GPS, no electronics…

Would have been nice to have known that an hour ago!

Neil Diamond makes the same healthy smoothie every morning…

Swede, carrots, lime…

My mom is a hoarder and refuses to throw out her old magazine collection.

She has a lot of issues.

What do you call it when you’re attracted to both men and women but neither are attracted to you?


Today I learned Albert Einstein really existed.

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Published by The Sage Page


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