Tuesday’s triumph of tittle-tattle …

How much room do you need to grow fungus?

As mushroom as possible.

Nothing succeeds like a budgie with no teeth.

I used to be addicted to eating soap.

But I’m clean now.

Did you know people are born with four kidneys?

It’s just that when they grow up, two of them turn into adult knees…

Need to find out the cost of buying one of those Elizabethan circular neck garments for a fancy dress party.

Can anyone give me a ruff estimate?

What’s the most helpful medical problem?

A cyst.

Who’s the genius that decided to call it “Emotional baggage”…

And not “griefcase”.

Dad is down at the car dealership, looking at potential choices. “Cargo space?” he asks.

The salesman says:

“Car no do that. Car go road.”

I was really struggling to get my wife’s attention….

So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection…

She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns!

Published by The Sage Page


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