Astronomy Jokes

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.

What planet is she on?

I asked the children at school what they knew about the astronomer Galileo…

According to one lad..…

‘He was just a poor boy from a poor family’..…

Orions Belt is a big ‘waist of space’…

Sorry, very average pun, only three stars…

I got my grandma a new walking frame specially made by NASA and she’s starting to get the hang of it…

It’s one small step for Nan…

I tried looking at the solar eclipse using a colander but I ended up straining my eyes…

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it…

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like?

No sun.

Neil Armstrong makes it to the moon and takes 5 pictures.

Girls go to the bathroom and take 57!

What’s a specimen?

An Italian astronaut!

My favourite name for a planet is Saturn. It has a nice ring to it…

There’s no future in time travel.

I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid but my parents told me the sky was the limit.

How do you deal with a sad astronaut?

Just give them some space.

Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.

My wife suggested I get a telescope since I was so interested in astronomy.

I told her I’d look into it.

Entered my photo of Orion’s Belt into a local art competition.

I didn’t win, but I did get a constellation prize…

251 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury.

No, I’m not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

Went to a space-themed party, and the burgers were better than normal.

They were a little meteor.

Why are they called “hemorrhoids”?

They should be called “asteroids”?

It’s an astronaut’s first day on the ISS and he’s making himself a coffee.

He says to a colleague: “I can’t find the milk”

And the other astronaut grins “In space, no one can, here use cream”

Thank you for reading my writings. If you’d like to, you can buy me a coffee for just £1 and I will think of you while writing my next post! Just hit the logo below…. (thanks in advance)

Published by The Sage Page


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