Joke of the Day: Cheese

I’ve started using geese heading south for winter to shave small pieces of cheese.

They are migrating birds.

I used to date a girl who loved to be covered in cheese.

She was a cracker.

I’m off cheese hunting at the weekend, it’s going to be great.

Just me and my friend, shooting the bries…

Did you hear about that French cheese factory that exploded?

There was nothing left but de brie.

Let’s ban pre-shredded cheese.

Make Britain grate again !

Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it’s the most violent book he’s ever read.

What cheese do you use to lure a bear down a mountain?

Camembert.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I took a photo of a mouse yesterday…

He didn’t say ‘cheese’, but I could tell he was thinking it…

My business making clothes out of cheese has gone bust…

Turns out that fromage frays

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, although it’s only mild.

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

When should you go on a cheese diet?

When you need to cheddar a few pounds.

Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese?

He double Gloucester!

If you didn’t like my cheese joke earlier today…

You must be laughtose intolerant!

Did you hear about the cheese that failed to medal at the Olympics?

It fell at the final curdle.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to dis a Brie ?

I’ve had a hard time figuring out why I don’t consider cottage cheese truly “cheese”.

But it’s just a curd to me.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

Police have found a dead body at a Dominos which was covered in ham, cheese and pineapple.

Police believe he may have topped himself.

I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.

He wasn’t happy.

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